How to Move From Friendship to Relationship

Ever get stuck in the dreaded “friend zone” to the point of no return? Today’s guest post is by award winning YA and adult contemporary author Karen Rock. Karen shows you how to get unstuck so pay attention.

Author Karen RockHere’s the playbook for pulling off the romantic equivalent of a Hail Mary pass- turning your best friend into your boyfriend. Some say it can’t be done. Some say you’ll crash and burn. I say, if handled right, you have nothing to lose… not even the friendship. Here are some strategies to break out of the Friend Zone:

  1. Shake things up. Catch him off guard with a compliment. You always think them, so why not say one? He needs to know that you see him as more than a friend.
  2. Stop bringing up the past. It will only reinforce you as a friend. Instead focus on the future and make plans. It will show him you want to spend together.
  3. Change the subject whenever he wants to talk about girl trouble. You aren’t his sounding board or his advice column. He needs to see you as girlfriend material.
  4. Do things meant only for two. Having other friends around makes it super awkward to break out of the routine and get romantic.
  5. And not in some creepy, stalker way. But in a casual, ‘oops how did that happen?’ kind of way. Grab his hand during a scary movie, fly a kite and hold onto the reel together or fishing for that matter, dunk each other in the pool or anything else that will get you two in physical contact. The more that happens, that more comfortable you’ll feel when the hand grab turns into a hand hold.
  6. Romantic gestures. Bake his favorite cupcakes and put hearts on them when he’s down, bring him chicken soup when he has a cold, send him a ‘Thinking of You’ card when he least expects it, bring him a thermos of hot cocoa during a cold sports game. Men are all about action.
  7. A lot. This is something you already do as friends so it should be easy. And this part of your relationship should never change. But if you bring a lot of friend drama to him, it might be time to dial it down and focus on having fun as a couple.
  8. Get word to him through a friend. You can always deny, deny, deny, later. But in case he likes you- SCORE! Sure it’s juvenile, it’s high school, it’s whatever… but some of us aren’t good with the direct approach and it will give him time to think before feeling pressured into giving an answer. Another plus- he’ll see that your mutual friends support the status change- are even working to make it happen!
  9. Write a note. Nothing long. Nothing over-the-top. Go for the three S’s- short, sweet and sincere.
  10. And if all else fails- hit the EJECT button on your expectations. But don’t ditch your friendship. You want him in your life even though it’s time to move on to greener pastures.

Best of luck! The Friends to Love romance is theme in my current Harlequin Heartwarming novel, Someone Like You. Kayleigh and Niall have been friends since they were kids, and when the partner to create a start-up company creating a romance compatibility app, things get even more complicated. But eventually, that strong foundation they’d built as friends builds to the most beautiful love story. I hope you enjoy it! What stories or tips can you share about your experience turning a friendship into a romance?

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Novel by Karen RockTitle: Someone Like You by Karen Rock
Genre: Contemporary, Sweet Romance


You can’t program love…or can you? 

Kayleigh Renshaw has come up with the idea for a brilliant “compatibility app,” a new kind of matchmaking software. All she needs is a programmer to help her bring the idea to market…and she knows exactly who she wants. But Niall Walsh—a code whiz and her former best friend—has been avoiding her since he returned from Afghanistan. In spite of their history, and some sparks that go beyond friendship, he’s proving reluctant…. Is it her, or is something darker holding him back?

Purchase Someone Like You on Amazon | B & N | Harlequin | Kobo

About Karen

Author Karen Rock

Karen Rock is an award-winning YA and adult contemporary author. She holds a master’s degree in English and worked as an ELA instructor before becoming a full-time author.  With her co-author, Joanne Rock, she’s penned the Camp Boyfriend series with Spencer Hill Press under the pseudonym J.K. Rock.

She also writes contemporary romance for Harlequin Enterprises. Her wholesome romance, Heartwarming novels have won the 2014 Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence and the 2014 Golden Quill Contest.

When she’s not writing, Karen loves scouring estate sales for vintage books, cooking her grandmother’s family recipes and hiking. She lives in the Adirondack Mountain region with her husband, daughter, and two Cavalier King cocker spaniels who have yet to understand the concept of “fetch” though they know a lot about love. To find out about her upcoming releases, appearance and latest news, visit or follow her on Facebook at or Twitter at She’d love to connect with you!

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Autographed copies of Wish Me Tomorrow, His Hometown Girl, and Someone Like You  as well as a $100 Amazon Gift Card.

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